I was sittin’ at my computer,
When a man’s face came on the screen.
“What are you orderin’ that plaque fer?
Gonna hang it in your latrine? ”
“I was plannin’ on hangin’
my poem on the wall.”
“HAH! It’s a scam. Don’t start bangin’
That nail in! ” I began to feel small.
“Just because they want to sell me a plaque? ”
I began to yell,
Just like that?
WHAM, BAM, IT’S A SCAM! ”
Shaken, I prepared to mail my entry poem
To Poetry.plume.
I tell you, that man’s mouth, it began to foem,
And my suspicions began to blume.
“They’ll publish anyone! ”
“But I like readin’ a variety of poetry.
But you mean when all’s said and done…”
“Faster than you can count one, two, three,
“WHAM, BAM, IT’S A SCAM!
And the Gargle Shlomp Contest?
Does it unmask a fake?
What does that prove, Mam? ”
“With the number of poems, it could be a mistake.”
“You plan to attend a convention?
They don’t take place.
Getting’ money is their intention,
THAT is the true case.
WHAM, BAM, IT’S A SCAM! ”
I had attended such a convention,
I didn’t know I’d been had.
I thought I had a lovely time.
Now, I find it had been bad.
His face began to fade,
I felt so alone.
Who would guide me through the maze?
I cried, “Can I call you on the phone? ”
There was no answer,
The man’s face was gone -
Lost in computer haze,
But looking outside at sunrise,
Sad and forlorn,
I saw his face at dawn,
So beautiful, so wise.
We are not alone!
Mary Naylor
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/wham-bam-it-s-a-scam/
