Dear Joe,
I know you're sensitive about your fraudulent activities - you know, voting for yourself thousands of times a day in order to boost your ranking on this site. But you needn't be so sensitive. You have an amazingly brilliant mind and an unparalleled talent and an astonishing capability and an unrivaled skill. Perhaps the one thing you SHOULD be sensitive about is that, since most people can probably figure out that you're voting for yourself, they'll think anyone who spends so much time doing that must be a real loser. Personally, I don't think you're a loser. I think you're outrageously brilliant and astonishingly capable and amazingly talented and unbelievably unparalleled. But I wouldn’t be surprised if other people think you’re a loser - you know, like in the same category as someone who masturbates several times a day. I'm not saying YOU do that (necessarily) . But the self-voting and masturbating kind of go hand in hand (if you know what I mean) .
Yours for eternity,
Ellen
P.S. I don’t really know if you masturbate several times a day. I was just saying I didn’t know one way or the other. Some people probably assume that you DO masturbate several times a day, but that’s beside the point.
P.S.S. I didn't mean to suggest that masturbating is bad either. It's fine. It's just that when you do it so many times a day (and I have no idea if you really do that) , it kind of suggests you're a loser. But I'm not saying you're a loser. I'm just saying some people probably think that.
Ellen Jane Wade
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/memo-to-joe-fazio-2/
