I project a positive attitude
Every day and every night,
But held inside my mind
Are feelings of depression and fright.
Anger, rage, hatred and pain
Fill my inner soul
A hearty laugh and a big smile
Cover a heart black as coal.
Forcing myself to act normal
So you can feel better about your life,
Hiding away my true emotions,
From my mother, my children and my wife.
Despising the way I treat myself,
Forced to do something I hate
I will continue to pretend like nothing is wrong
Until I pass through that fiery gate.
Every word of every poem written,
Somehow eases the pain I hide,
Creating hundreds of pages of my books
Expressing the malice held inside.
I have documented my works,
My heart sits loose leaf on the shelf
Still forced to act like nothing is wrong,
I feel like I am Raping Myself.
J R Reynolds
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/raping-myself-2/