Your call is important to us. 
Please hold the line. 
A dedicated critic will answer your call 
as soon as they finish with the last victim. 
 
To help us to allocate an appropriate advisor 
please choose one of the following options:  
 
If this is the first poem you ever wrote 
but you’re rather pleased with it,  
press One 
 
If you’ve just been dumped on,  
and hope he’ll read this,  
press Two 
 
If this is a blatant suicide blackmail attempt,  
press Three 
 
If you never read anyone else’s poems here 
but still want them to comment on yours,  
press Four 
 
If you think that rock and pop lyrics are the real 'poetry',  
hang up and read some poetry instead.. 
 
If you just want to be noticed 
and can’t even bother to write a poem,  
press Five and 
you will be connected to the Forum. 
 
For all other ways of gaining attention,  
press Sex
Michael Shepherd
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/0012-we-re-sorry-all-our-lines-to-poemhunter-are-busy/