For every shadow seen and heard
the winds change the day.
My memories past and present
will come at night to stay.
*
He told me to just dropp it
to move on and live in peace.
Yet for every night there is a nightmare
tearing up my dreams.
*
My heart is pained with anger
a feeling of deceit.
For I betrayed myself
I gave in to defeat.
*
I gave up my control
on that dark and dreadful night.
I gave up my soul
when I abandoned my fight.
*
I tried to stop him
honest.
I tried to tell him
no.
*
He just pushed me back down
told me very slow.
Sit back and be quiet
I could just break your neck.
I want a little fun
how about a little lick.
*
My heart turned upside down
as I cried out from the shooting pain.
But when he was through
he told me
he thought I liked it just the same.
*
Now give me your stupid hand
he said
As he yanked me off the bed
*
Told me to get dressed
smiled sweetly and said.
'What's wrong? Smile!
you look so distressed.'
*
When we went outside he scared me
gave me this piercing grin.
He made me feel like I was nothing
I could never win.
*
Now look into my eyes
do you see the shame that's hidden there?
Since that dreadful moment
I've been afraid to show I care.
*
Everything has changed
including my view of life.
Nothing looks the same
since I betrayed myself that night.
Heather Kemper
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/self-betrayal/
