Death to my old way of life, bring on the new;
Ever I am changing, if only I knew what to do;
Can I stay the way that I am and love those who loved me;
Or must I live alone and change, but for what and who... there is now only me;
I loved, but what good did it do to love the ones I loved before,
The ones who ironically I still admire and adore,
Even though they do not love me anymore;
What good did it do to repent of my wicked ways
To the ones who were in the path of my previous days;
To what extent must I forgive those who don't care about me,
Without selfishly holding on, to who I was or even who I want to be?
These questions may not make sense to you, but to me they plague my soul;
I am unhappy, and wondering when my heart will be complete again and whole;
I am unhappy, not because of them, but because I cannot please them at all;
I am very fragile and weak, and no longer do I stand tall,
For I am ashamed of the past, and hope this shame does not forever last;
Inside my soul the weather there is rough, overcast.
I can't clean the weeds in my heart, because part of my heart belongs to someone who is far away,
And I am afraid she won't forgive me, no matter what I do or say,
So I am burdened with a pain I cannot bear,
And I know that my joy is inside me, oh but where?
Copyright © 2006 Chad Fisher
chad fisher
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-to-my-old-way-of-life/
