I am here, though it does not feel like it.
Every time I wake, I wonder am I really here?
Or am I dreaming from heaven or hell?
Even some place in between…
It takes me a while to realize that I am still here,
Alive and well, physically, anyways.
With so many thoughts running through my head,
So early, it is, in the morning,
I often wonder if I will make it through the day.
I rise from my bed,
Thinking about what excuse I can make,
To convince myself to stay in this world.
Some days, I can find a reason to live.
Other days, I am just to numb to do anything.
But many other days I am so down,
And no matter what anyone says or does,
I want to die.
It’s that simple.
Nothing more, nothing less.
By nightfall I am so lonely,
With no one around to hold my hand,
Or comfort me in anyway.
Not because they are not there,
But because in my mind they have left me.
Alone…
Misunderstood…
I feel like nothing is left and finally I drift into sleep.
Waiting for tomorrow to come so I can once again,
Try to convince myself to find a reason,
A reason for living
Amber Zitzloff
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-am-here-16/
