cold winter morning
manure pile
freshly brewing
around the campfire
fired-up hearts
another round of song
Published in the Snowdays issue (Jan-Mar 2009) of 3Lights online. See: http: //www.threelightsgallery.com/snowdays/html
Even though these haiku were published, doesn't mean that they could not have been improved as is evident by the following changes suggested by Lillian Thomas.
manure pile
on a winter morning
freshly brewing
This removes the redundant 'cold', has a more balanced short-long-short form, and puts the manure pile in better focus.
Rearranging the second one also improves the form of this haiku and reads more smoothly.
fired-up hearts
another round of song
around the campfire
Ben Gieske
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/winter-2-haiku/
