Often
When I feel exhaused
When my hands and feet refuse to move
Having to look after you like a newborn child
Seems to be a punishment from God
And I wish you would die
Soon.
Often
When I feel discouraged
When nothing seems to work
And my heart fills with anger with myself
Having to pull you up on your feet
Makes you wince with pain
And Nanni screams,
'Mummy, how can you be so cruel? '
Often
When I am my normal self
When I look at you
And you stare silently with vacuous eyes, emaciated, helpless
I think of those old times
When you were stronger
and pulled me up on my feet
Gently, softly through tough times
and filled my heart with hope.....
Often
When I think ahead
I wonder if I too would live long enough
For Nanni to wish I would die
Soon...
For Nanni to have to lift me up on my feet
and make me wince with pain,
Long enough to be emaciated, helpless
and stare with vacous eyes....
Jasbir Chatterjee
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/kamala/
