Partial Lyrics:
Joel
When I was coming down the slide
He said hey have you heard this song
I just looked at him like a stranger
He started singing just come along
I hadn’t heard lyrics like that before
Ones that praised the slacker
The one I’d been raised to abhor
And it struck me quite like a firecracker
I memorized all the words
And then twenty years later I still dwell
In a world where whenever I hear it
I think of when I was introduced to the boy named Joel
I watched him bloody himself
Fall off and break his arm
I was alarmed since I hadn’t seen
Joel fall into such a charm
He smiled as he recounted the deed
Though to be real there were tears that day
Even though he’d like us to forget that
As if we hadn’t seen his time of dismay
One’s body can be broken and still
They can have their pride not dispel
No worries it’s only my bones
Could only be said by one named Joel
One day Joel told us he’d changed
Or at least his last name was another
When we asked him why he did it
From the truth he told us he was further
But I could appreciate the need for being fresh
I know a time or two I had entertained the thought
Of burning my ID and all my cards
And becoming someone that was previously naught
Except for him I didn’t notice a difference
Just a name easier to spell
So he didn’t have to keep explaining
Himself to anyone other than he was named Joel
A paralyzed lizard climbed over a rock
Chasing a cricket for its dinner
Joel stomped on it and I was ashamed
At the laughter that arose from this sinner
To take a life is a sacred thing
But he responded animals are mechanical
And they were placed on earth for our desires
But I thought even if true, it’s tyrannical
How do you treat what’s under your feet
Whether it’s moving or a just a shell
Though I never verbalized it properly
Because it’s not cool to disagree with the guy named Joel
He often tended to be quite cruel
In my direction he’d throw an undercut
And make me reconsider his company
When I’d take another punch in the gut
Physical strength and size are the laws
That govern small tight communities
And Joel dominated in those categories
So I tried to escape when I had opportunities
He’d shove you in the ground for a nickel
And forsake you forever for a spell
If it meant he might earn some quarter
Because that’s what it meant for him to be Joel
My tears dried when he packed his gear
And said I’m moving over the hill
Looking for something a little sweller
Though to drop by I of course will
I enjoyed the peace and dreaded the war
While he tried to rule from afar
His minions never mentioned him in absence
Even though when he was close he was tsar
I saw it took no power to betray
And it took infinity to keep people in a cell
This very important lesson about power
And its relationships I learned from a man named Joel
When he started tinkering with tools
I knew we were all in for something
He had a taser that could shock you
When he’d sneak up behind you, he’d give you a sting
For kicks he’d get you
